I walk and I run.  Not very far, not very fast but I do it.  I know it is good for me and good for my heart, I feel better so I keep  doing it.  I get up early before the house is a buzz and quietly tip toe out so that no one is disturbed.  This morning as I was walking to get started, listening to music I realized I was watching myself put one step in front of the other instead of looking up and watching where I was going.  Quickly I looked up to make sure I wasn’t about to run into anything but then unconsciously resumed looking only at the pavement right in front of me.  As I walked it made me think of my walk with the Lord.  There have been times in my life when all I can do is put one foot in front of the other, I need God to do the rest.  Right now is one of those times.  For one reason or another I am struggling.  Struggling to let go, struggling to be content, struggling with selfishness, struggling to keep satan’s lies at bay.

But I have to keep going.  Keep walking the walk.  I have a God who loves me and to show Him I love Him I want to be obedient.

⁶And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.

Walking in love.  My walk with the Lord needs to be in love, in obedience.

Different to walking, when I run my head is up, I don’t have time to look down at my feet.  I am constantly setting new goals for myself.  ”Make it to the next block”, “Get to the next stop light”, “The next tree, at least the next tree!”  In 2 Timothy he calls our christian walk a race that we run.  God knew that we’d be walking and staring at our feet at times and He knew that at times we’d be running head held high and setting goals.  When I run I need perseverance.  Being a Christian requires perseverance.  We’ve got to keep going, keep growing.

My little ones have a song that they learned in Sunday School the lyrics are this

Read your Bible pray everyday and you’ll grow, grow grow…

Don’t read your Bible, forget to pray and you’ll shrink, shrink, shrink…

Out of the mouths of babes comes the answers to my struggles and yours.

Well, last week we finally paid off our last credit card!  Hallelujah!  It was so great to hit “Pay Now” on the last payment.  I was at work one morning and looking over things, and I realized that if I just move this money here and squeeze a bit more out of the budget, we could knock out our last payment.

I’m not bragging.  I’m writing this more to encourage me as I just had a meeting with my health insurance guy.  It’s hard to see that bill climb an extra $100/month.  I’m hoping to encourage myself and you with this victory over debt.  We still have some school loans to work on and some medical bills, but with this payment, we are consumer debt free!  It’s hard to lose sight of the goal when you’re in the trenches counting your dollars and trying to get ahead.

If you haven’t considered your financial situation, your debt and how you honor God with your money…you should.  Dave Ramsey is a great resource.  If you feel like you’re in over your head, start small.  Line up your debts and pay the smallest one off first.  That way you’re encouraged to continue.  Roll over the money you were spending on that debt into the next one, and so on.  Stick with it!  Dave says “You need a plan…Visa has a plan.  That’s why they have your money!  I’m a big fan of Dave Ramsey and can tell you, when we’ve stuck to the plan, it’s worked!

We’re reducing our household stuff, selling off unnecessary items and things like that.  It’s tight…it’s been tight for awhile, but we’re getting there.  We’re getting ready for a garage sale.  It’s good for the kids, I think, to see us simplify our lives and put material things in their place.  ”It’s just stuff,” I tell them.  We dine heartily on beans and rice regularly and try to, as Dave says, “Live like no one else, so you can live like no one else.”

I have to say, though.  Sometimes, it feels like we’re not getting anywhere.  There’s times when we get a bit ahead (like right now) and then BLAM!  We’re hit with some expense that knocks you’re feet right out from under you.  It can be really frustrating.  We are very thankful that we can chip away at our debt and we are praying for guidance always.  I found a great article focusing on five verses in the bible about money.  It’s a blog article on, what I think, is a pretty good site.  It’s called Christian Personal Finance.

Have you sat down today and read your child a book?  did a puzzle or colored a picture?  Told your daughter how pretty she is in her tu-tu and tights?  Told your little guy how tough he looks when he hits that tree with his stick?  Your kids need you to be there and they need you to talk to them.  When our kids are small we get so tired of all the questions, all the “Why Mommy?’s” and the “How come?’s” that we often forget to answer them.  In a few years, if you don’t take the time to answer all these seemingly small questions, the bigger questions won’t be asked of you. They won’t trust you with their big questions.  They’ll think you don’t care or don’t have time to answer or don’t know the answer.  Who do you want answering the questions about sexual purity, about how to handle the catty girl fights, how to deal with a bully, about what is happening to their body, or about who God really is.

Take time today to build trust, earn their respect.  Give them your respect.  Engage in their lives.  Make life fun.  Find their hearts and reach out to them. Take your son with you when you go to change the tire or fix the washing machine.  Let your daughter help choose your outfit for  your date with your husband.  Spending time, lots of time, with them so that you can be there when the big questions are asked.

Tying heart strings with your child is so important.  It builds trust, respect and a relationship that you both are longing for that will last a life time.

So, I was in church on Sunday.  It’s been three weeks since I was sitting in church.  I was starting to get comfortable with the idea of not going, which is bad.  I’m a little detached from the church that’s been my home for the last ten years.  My family has been serving at an Hispanic congregation for about 2 years now and that obligation is also changing, so, we have found ourselves unattached to a church body.  I’m not worried about this for various reasons I’ll get into in another post, but, suffice it to say, God is taking care of us and watching over us always.

Well, I was listening to the sermon and I had one of my kids on my knee (Ashley, I think) and I was constantly getting attention from the little boy in front of me.  He’s a really cute little guy with a big smile and lots of joy in his heart.  At least, that’s how he was that morning.  As soon as I caught his eye I gave him a little cross-eyed stare.  I can’t resist trying to make kids smile.  So, we were trading crazy glances (much to his grandma’s shegrin) and I suddenly realized I was probably distracting others from the sermon, so I stopped.  Of course, the flood gates were opened and he kept trying to get my attention.  Leaning this way and that, chattering and such, trying to get me to smile back at him.  I wanted, desperately, to grab him up and play with him because, I’m pretty sure, his father is not around.  I know his mother and her family are doing everything that they can to raise this little guy, and they’re doing a great job.  They love him, they teach him.  My heart goes out to him because as much as they try, there is one thing I’m afraid they’re going to have difficulty with…and that’s teaching him how to be a man.

I can tell this little guy wants to wrestle around and grunt and smash stuff and hang out with the guys and do all the “dude” stuff that little men need to do.  That’s important, but more so, I see him ten years from now, confused, upset, struggling with manhood and trying to define his masculinity.  Boys need a man to show them how to be a man, it’s that simple.  If you want to learn how to be an electrician, you don’t spend your time with a plumber.  God has designed man and woman for very specific roles in the family and there’s just some things one can’t do that the other can.  I am not judging anyone, especially not the mother, or any other single parent.  I am making the observation that this young man and many others like him are  missing a vital part of their childhood development.

So, what’s the solution?  I hate blogs and articles that love to point out the problem and poo-poo those responsible.  I’m not saying I’ve got the solution for everything wrong with relationships and children without both parents, but I have an action step for you guys out there (and for myself.)  If you’re a guy out there, find a kid that needs you!  This will probably be easier if you are married and have kids of your own because you don’t want to freak out the mom, but every situation is different.  Find a child that needs a father figure and be it for them.  This isn’t as easy as I’m making it sound.  There’s a lot of committment and it’s very important that you don’t do it half-way.  Your church probably has father-son outings or retreats or something.  If you’re taking your boy/s, then offer to take another one.  It’s not that hard (take it from me, I’ve got six kids) to add a kid to whatever you’re doing.  If you’re hanging out at home, invite a little guy to come over and hang out with you and your kids.  Everyday you are modeling how to be a man to your children, you may as well add a child that doesn’t have that experience as often as you can.  I’m sure you won’t have to reach far into your social network to find a child that desperately needs a father figure.  So, man up and get into the lives of the children in your community.

I’ve got one last word for the men who father these children (I’m sure this won’t get read by too many of you, but if you happen to find yourself here reading this, then consider it divine intervention,) the generational implications of your lustful desires and poor judgment are far-reaching and very difficult to reverse.  You can repent of your sin and work to make your child’s life better.  You may have made mistakes in the past, but you are capable of turning around your life and your child’s!

So, tonite I got to go on a date with my wife.  I love her perspective so much, but before I spend the whole post gushing over my beautiful bride (which I could easily do) I want to talk about something she said tonite.

“You’re really good at starting things…you should focus on that,” she said.  She was encouraging me to focus on my strengths.  I was driving down the road.  It reminded me of learning to drive with my dad back when I was 12.  I love the sound of a rock road under my tires.  We went for a ride out in the country to a piece of land that idealizes one of our goals as a family.  We would like to live in the country where each kid could have an acre of their own to roam.  At first, it wasn’t too much to ask, but with six of the wonderful little blessings, it’s a bit more of a challenge!  We were talking about finances and getting out of debt and how it seems sometimes like such a long road and it’s hard to tell if we’re getting anywhere.  Anyway, I struggle with a bad case of the can’t-seem-to-finish-what-I-starts.  It’s nothing new.  In fact, it’s a skill I’ve perfected over the past couple of decades.  Cindy is always looking at how to best use what she’s been given.  As a mother of 6 and a husband of me, she finds herself having to do that a lot!  Seriously, though, she is very positive and resourceful, especially when it comes to my abilities and skills.  She really knows how to encourage me to do my best.  That’s what she was doing with that statement.

Here I was getting myself down because I can’t seem to finish things.  We both recognize that I’m great at starting a family (6 kids, remember?) and the potential hazard my affliction holds for us if I don’t work on this and end up “not finishing” as a father.  I don’t want to get to the home stretch and run out of steam on little Sammy or Petey (that’s my little girl).  My youngest children deserve every bit of my attention as a father as the rest.  Not only do they deserve it, but the need it.

I look at all the things I want to do with my business, with ministries.  I picture myself writing books, getting involved in politics, making films or using my photography to make some profound artistic statement.  All of these things are constantly bombarding my brain and asking for my attention.  All the while, Isaac, my wonderful little guy, is tugging at me asking to play a game or read with him, or play Transformers or just wrestle around.  He needs me.  I believe Satan is distracting me with, seemingly, legitimate ideas, goals and missions.  I need to remember that my focus needs to be Isaac and his “distracting” requests.  If I can focus on my children and help them to know the Lord and succeed in keeping them on the path, then I will reap rewards much greater than I can imagine.  Life changing rewards that my family will experience for generations to come.

My children are not older yet, but now is a great opportunity for me to focus on the road ahead and finishing what I started.  If there is anything on this earth I want to finish…

We bake bread here at the Nabb house.  We bake lots of bread.  Every week at least twice we bake four loaves of bread of which we make sandwiches, toast, spread with butter and jam or just eat.  I thought I’d share with you how we make bread and why we don’t just buy it from the store.  

I started baking bread about eight years ago.  I made bread for fun using white or wheat flour that I bought from the store.  I used my bread machine to mix the bread.  I would then take it out of the bread machine and bake it in the oven.  My husband loved coming home to a dinner with fresh baked bread.  I was still buying bread but the bar had been raised, no longer were we satisfied eating white wonder bread.  So, I learned, I asked, I read books, finding different recipes and finding the best methods to bake bread.  

When baby number three was born, much to my husbands chagrin, I laid down my bread pans for quite some time and only got them out for special occasions.   I picked them back up again when a dear sister in Christ shared with me her bread making abilities.  She came over and showed me how to make bread, gave me her recipe, gave me a wheat grinder and a 50 pound bag of wheat berries.  She told me that if I was going to bake bread that using fresh wheat was so much better for us than store-bought flour.  I didn’t really know why, but trusted her educated opinion.  

I later learned the why’s of freshly ground flour.  Wheat that has been freshly ground is truly a whole grain.  Nothing has been removed or separated or added back.  When wheat is ground it loses it’s nutritive value  quickly.  After 24 hours, it loses about 45% of it’s nutrition and after 72 hours it is virtually void of nutrition.  Flour companies extract the wheat germ because of it’s high rancidity potential.  The wheat germ is the powerhouse of the wheat berry.  It contains vitamin B and Vitamin E which are  great for our skin and heart.  The bran is also removed from store-bought flours.  Bran is the basic fiber of the wheat berry and having a diet high in fiber, as we all know, is a good way to prevent cancer.  Enriched white flour that you buy at the store is just that, the government decided some time ago that flour companies needed to add back in some good stuff after they made it “shelf stable”.  The good stuff they put back in is 3 synthetic vitamins and 1 mineral.  

If you don’t own a wheat grinder check with your local health food store, sometimes they have a grinder on premises along with wheat berries that you can grind fresh there.  The benefits to your families health is worth the extra effort.

Here is my everyday bread recipe.

This recipe is used as basis for cinnamon bread, cinnamon rolls, pizza dough, herb bread and rolls.

• Preheat oven to 375
• 2 1/4 c warm water (hot to the touch)
• 1/4 c milled flax seed (milled in a coffee grinder)
• 1/4 c canola oil
• 1/4 c honey
• 1/4 c molasses
• 2 t sea salt
• 2 T Kal’s Nutritional Yeast Flakes
• 2 1/2 T vital gluten
• 5 c fresh ground wheat flour (more flour is needed later)
• 1 T 2t Saf-Yeast Instant Yeast
   

Layer ingredients in your stand mixer or Bosch mixer, add more flour until dough pulls away from bowl, approximately 1 1/2 c.  Add back up to 2 T warm water.  Knead in mixer for 5-7 minutes at speed 2 for a Bosch or medium speed in a stand mixer.   Dough should be soft and sticky.  Turn out onto well oiled board, divide into pans and let rise 30 minutes in a warm place.  Bake at 350 for 26-35 minutes depending on the size of your pan and your oven.  Bread should sound hollow when done.   

Makes 4-1lb loaves

I have the great opportunity to volunteer with a wonderful organization, Christian Heritage.  I am working on a new program they are implementing in the Nebraska Correctional System.  The strategy of the program is to offer an opportunity to inmates to talk for 15 minutes, on video, to their children.  Then, the videos are delivered to their families.  Inmates are encouraged to read books, discuss their days, ask the children questions, etc., in an effort to connect, or re-connect, with them.  The program is a “franchise” of the Messages Project.  The Messages Project was started by Carolyn LeCroy.  She came to Lincoln for three days to train our group on how to shoot these videos and work the program.  She has a big heart and is outspoken about the impact this program can have on the lives of the inmates and their children.  

During our first shoot at the Nebraska State Penitentiary, I was having a conversation with Carolyn, a volunteer and an inmate.  He was waiting to go in and shoot his video for his children.  Carolyn asked him what he did to get in jail…he said “B & E.”  She asked if it was drug related (as it most always is) and he said “No.  I had no choice, my family needed food and I had no job and I…”

She interrupted him, “Now wait a minute, that is criminal thinking.  You can’t think like that and expect to get paroled.  What do you think the parole board would say if you rationalized your crime like that to them?  The world doesn’t ‘owe’ you anything.  There are other ways to provide for your family other than breaking in to someone’s house and stealing.”  (This is a paraphrase.)  He kind of murmured and agreed.  It was an epiphany moment for me.  I see  a huge lesson for my kids and it wasn’t long before I could put it into action.

I’ve been having a few issues with my oldest boy.  He has been thinking like a criminal.  He’s constantly rationalizing his bad behavior.   He feels as though he is “entitled” to certain things.  So, I explained to him how that kind of thinking is what gets criminals into the habit of crime.

• “It’s not fair!”
• “They started it!”
• “I didn’t mean to hit him in the face, I just swung at him and that’s where it landed.  It’s not my fault!”
• Lying
• Cheating at games 

These, and more, are all examples of excuses you could hear in your kitchen, or from inmates at your local correctional facility.  The idea that your own actions are not the cause of the consequences you currently face is “criminal thinking.”  I tried my best to illustrate this for my kids because I think it’s a great way to show the results of a lifetime of utilizing that logic.  Right now, it’s just an argument with a sibling, or trying to get out of doing extra chores, but, before you know it, it will mean standing in front of a judge and trying to explain how “there I was, just minding my own bidness, and there were these two dudes…” (thanks, Wendy, for the great example.)

God made us to love us and made us with free will so that we would choose to love Him.  When we choose to make excuses for our behavior and choose not to accept the consequences for our actions, we are robbing ourselves of the opportunity to reconcile these actions to God.  God forgives everything.  We do, however, have to confess our sins to Him.  You can’t do that if you’re thinking you never did anything wrong in the first place.  

Talk to your kids about bad choices and “getting locked up” and things like that.  If you drive by a police bust, talk about it, have your kids consider what that person may have done.  Talk about the fact that that person has probably made a series of bad choices that led up to them getting arrested and that those bad choices may have started out small and seemingly insignificant.  That’s how Satan sneaks into our lives, through a series of small, insignificant bad choices.  Then, sooner than you think, your staring at the world through bars…or worse.

Read the local news story about Christian Heritage and the Messages Project.

As a mom I am responsible for clothing the family, not only to wash and dry but to purchase as well.  Shopping and buying clothes is a task I don’t take lightly.  Finding a good deal on clothing is important to me, but more important is what the clothing is saying.  I don’t mean the brand on the jeans or the cute little saying on the t-shirt, I mean what does the clothing say about who we are.  
 
When we look out our window and see people walking down the street we can tell a lot about someone by the way they are dressed.   You can distinguish nationality, gender, age, economic status.   We see a man in traditional Indian attire, a young lady in a sundress, an older gentleman in a fedora, and a power suit walking by.  Their clothing tells us who or what they are.  Does our clothing tell the world that we are Christians?  Does the way we present ourselves make a statement that we belong to Christ?  It should.  

It is more than keeping our skin covered although that is a good start.  It is a matter of humility.  I Peter 5:5 says “…all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another…”   God wants us to clothe ourselves in humility.  That doesn’t mean we can, or should, dress shabbily, but our love and our character should be what people notice first about us.

 There are some simple tests to determine if your clothing is modest.  I encourage you young ladies to read Secret Keeper 2005: The Delicate Power of Modesty, by Dannah Gresh.  Mom’s you should read this, too.  Have a discussion with your daughters about the modesty rules and go through both of your closets and determine what meets the standards and what doesn’t.  One great thing to do is when you get back from shopping have a fashion show for dad and get his approval of all clothing before it gets worn outside of the house.  It takes work and searching for clothing that meets God’s standards but you will be blessed by being modest and you will bless others.

It is important that we invite people into our homes and into our lives.  Having someone over for dinner can be a rewarding experience and an effective tool to reach out to others, sharing our faith and our time.  Think about when you have been invited over to someone’s house that you didn’t know very well for a barbeque or for Sunday dinner.    It’s a chance to get to know someone at a level we don’t get to otherwise, to live our lives together, share our burdens with each other and offer friendship in ways we can’t do in 15 minutes on Sunday morning.  

I also believe that God is pleased when we open our homes and offer hospitality.  We are commanded to offer hospitality without complaining,  practice hospitality, entertain strangers, break bread together and bear one another’s burdens.

As a family we love to have people over.  We love the anticipation of getting the house ready, creating a meal, planning an activity and waiting for the arrival of our guests.  We try to have someone over to our house a few times a month.  We have a goal of having some one new over about once a month.  At times we don’t meet this goal as other things take priority in our weeks and months but we still try.  I encourage you to invite someone over this week to share a meal with you.  Here are some tips and ideas to help you get started.  May God bless you and your homes.

• Decide with your spouse how often you’d like to have others over.  Set a goal, choose supper or lunch.
• Kids love to plan parties so have them join in the process.
• Keep it simple.  Easy meals that all will enjoy.  Don’t worry about having a huge, elaborate meal.
• Make sure you ask your guests about any food allergies/intolerances they may have. 
• If your guests ask if they can bring something, take them up on their offer.  
• Go pot luck style.  Have the other family bring what they would have made for their family and add it to your menu.
• Use paper plates.  
• Team up with another family.  Take turns hosting.
• Meet at a park for a picnic.
• Get together for dessert.
• Have a basket of conversation starters to pass around on the table to spark conversation.  

“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”

                                                                                                                                                            Hebrews 13:2

There’s many things I imagined myself doing.  Lawyer, professional ATV rider, furniture builder.   I’ve even thought of myself as a famous photographer, filmmaker, entrepreneur, maybe I would own a large company someday.   I never really thought much about being a father.  It never occurred to me to consider what it means, or takes, to be a father.  It doesn’t make much sense to consider the idea of being a father unless you consider your own.  It’s been about a year and a half since my father passed away.

Since then, I’ve been trying to figure out what he meant to me.   I loved him, for sure.   I miss him incredibly, but I’m not sure what he meant to me.  I look back in my memory and try to grab ahold of some semblance of comraderie, some specific time when we connected.   I remember him being there, but, for the life of me, I can’t recall many specific moments and it’s driving me crazy.

I wonder if there are other guys out there like me who try to remember moments with their dad when you just clicked.   Like the first time he talked to you about girls, or the first time he let you drive the family car.   Once in awhile, I remember little things.  I remember how loud he could whistle when I was up to bat in little league.  He would cheer so loudly, even though I was sure to strike out.  I was only in little league for one season.  He’d whistle and hoot.  I asked him to, quite honestly, because I didn’t really have a fan club and I wanted to hear cheers from the crowd when I stepped up to the plate.   I wasn’t much of an athelete and nobody really cared much when I was up to bat.  That lone season in little league was the extent of my baseball career and saw a shining first base hit as its pinnacle moment.  Too bad the next batter fouled out to end the inning.  Even though I’ve never crossed home plate, I felt pretty good about myself and I feel as though I hung up my bat and glove and retired from baseball in my prime.  In part, because my dad came to watch.

I remember how he taught me to drive.  We used to go out of town and drive on country roads on Sunday afternoons.   I used to love those drives.  I remember one time, not more than a quarter of a mile from home.  It was a blind left turn on a hill.   I was behind the wheel of his 1969 F-100.   Three on the tree and a worn out clutch.  You had to ease it up a bit to see if anyone was coming, then sort of stop, then go again if it was clear.   We must have sat at that intersection for an hour while I killed it over and over again.  I wanted to give up.   I wanted to walk home.  I wanted to do anything except make that left turn in front of me.  He was so patient.  He just kept telling me to try again.  I finally made it and when we got home I was mad for the rest of the day.

I guess that these seemingly “little” things are more important to me than I realize.  We got along well enough.   He was never too tough on my brother and I.  He always talked to us as equals.  It’s not like he was never there for me.   He was a good provider.   He worked hard.   He tried his hand at different businesses.   He studied English in college.  He ended his career working in a nuclear power plant running a machine that required an incredible amount of mathematical and technical skill.  The machine actually eliminated the radioactivity found in the water that was used to cool the fuel rods that powered the plant.   He was sort of a renaissance man, in his own way.   He was smart, but I don’t remember a passion.  I don’t remember a bright shining light in his eyes.  I know he loved my brother and I, I just don’t remember any all-consuming desire for anything, in particular.

I think a kid wants to look at his dad and see fire in his belly.   Fire for something.  The pumping fist kind of fire that makes you want to butt heads and go kill something.  I think that’s what I wanted to see.  It really wasn’t there.   However, somehow, over the years of my childhood, he inspired me.   Quietly and patiently, perhaps more so through his inaction rather than his actions, he pushed me to do more than he had done.  I love him for that, and I always will.