I received an “offer” from a health insurance company today.  I applied a couple of weeks ago through my financial advisor for a new health insurance policy because the premiums were going up on my existing plan.  I remember sitting there with him and saying, “okay, so, basically, they raise the premium every year on all of their clients and don’t offer them the opportunity to change their coverage.  It’s ‘take it or leave it?’”  ”Yep.” He said.  So, I said, “so, you have to apply with another company, fill out all the paperwork, give the blood, wait for them to pour over your records and then take whatever the new company offers?”  ”Yep.” He said again.  So I said, “Well, what if they just didn’t raise the premiums every year and saved all the man hours it takes (for the insurance co. and for me) to go through this process annually.  Would they maintain their profit margins just by saving trees and labor?”  ”Yep.  Probably.”  He said.  ”If you just sign here, I can get the ball rolling.”

So, I get the call today that my health and the health of one of my sons have “exclusion riders” written into the policy.  So, there are conditions in our health that the new policy won’t cover (it doesn’t really cover much now anyway.)  I could go on and on, but I’m sure my story is not the most heart breaking one ever told.  To me, it’s been very annoying.

I got fed up and I called an organization that I had looked into several years ago, but, regrettably, never participated.  It’s called Samaritan Ministries.  It’s really great and I think my wife and I are going to take a leap of faith and get involved.  What they do is organize Christians so that they can help support needs of the body directly.  You have a monthly committment and each month the organization sends you a notice of a need somewhere in the body and you’re to send your monthly committment directly to that person or family, along with prayers.  Then, if you have a need, you apply for it to be met and they do the same for you.  It’s refreshing to see this non-profit working to help Christians support each other.  I highly recommend you look into it.

Cindy and I had a meeting with our insurance guy this week.  I thought I’d write about life insurance.  I know, you’re thinking, “Here it comes, a boring lecture on insurance.”  Well, I do want to talk about it, but I hope it’s not boring.  We purchased a term policy a few years back and have had a couple kids since so we thought we should take a look at our coverage.  It turned out we were under covered.  As we talked with our agent, I realized, in most situations, when there is only one spouse who works, that spouse’s life is insured for a greater amount.  The assumption is that it would be more difficult to replace that income.  Now, I don’t profess to understand the actuary behind insurance, but the idea is that if a spouse dies, your benefit should be enough to allow for the interest it earns in a standard investment in a decent economy (yeah, right) is enough to replace the income of the lost spouse so that your current lifestyle could be maintained.  Meaning, in our situation, that if I died, Cindy could continue to homeschool the kids, living off the interest of investments made with the money received from life insurance.  Okay, I get it, and we didn’t have nearly enough insurance on me to make that happen.  My wife and children would have received a big chunk of dough if I kick the bucket, but it wouldn’t last as long as it needs to last.  So, we get more insurance on me. 

Then I thought, (and I hate to think about it, but that’s what we’re talking about) what if Cindy died?  We had even less insurance on her.  I thought, “that’s okay, I can still work.”  Only, I’d have to homeschool the kids, too, or at least have family friends help me.  There would be great expenses.  I’m guessing I wouldn’t be able to take as many clients and projects as well.  I figure I’d be able to work at about 40% capacity until my children were raised.  We did the math, and it turned out we need as much insurance on her as what we have on me.   Being partners in marriage, family and life, it should’ve been no wonder that would be the case.

You want your family to be taken care of if you die.  I’ll remind you, I’m not an insurance salesman.  I have no affiliations with any insurance salesman.  I just happen to believe in this particular idea.  Look at it this way, the money you spend on a policy pales in comparison to the hardships your family would face if you hadn’t bought it.  I’m not trying to scare you into buying life insurance.  Look into it yourself.  Unless you can afford to self insure (which is my goal, by the way,) you owe it to your family to investigate this issue.

Things to consider:

• Term vs. Whole Life
• Multiple Policy Discounts
• Good Credit Discounts
• Insurance Shopping Techniques

One article I found interesting was an article from money.cnn.com click here.  This article goes through several steps and explains the different aspects of life insurance.  Make sound decisions based on as much information as you can.  If possible, find an agent through a referral from someone you know.  God bless.

One thing I detest is potty training.  I love having it done but the process…UGH!  Until now.  I was lamenting to a girlfriend of mine about how I feel about potty training and she said she hated it to but she found this e-book called 3-day potty training  by Lora Jensen and how helpful it was.  So I immediately jumped aboard.  Anything that can get this process over with in three days is the thing for me!  I was ecstatic to say the least.  My little one was about 26 months old when we took the plunge, much younger than my others were when I trained them.  I was bound and determined that this was going to work.  We poured over the book and got everything in place.  We waited for just the right weekend to begin.  Day 1 was a disaster, she peed on the floor all day long.  I went to bed doubtful of the method and knowing I would be up all night but we followed the plan.  She did it, she stayed dry and made it to the toilet in the morning.  Over the course of the next two days you could see the light go on and she knew what to do, her  ”Ah Ha” moment that Oprah talks about, I guess.  

Since then we have had minor setbacks where she would have days that she had accidents.  We just got back on the plan and then we were fine again.  I made the mistake of waking her up at night and taking her in to go potty.  It doesn’t seem like a bad thing, she would wake up dry and I didn’t have to change the sheets in the middle of the night but yet she wasn’t being trained, I was.  When I would forget to wake her, her bed would be wet.  So I got the book back out and reread what to do at night.  It worked!  She is doing so well and she is so proud of herself waking up dry in the morning and not having to go to the bathroom at all in the middle of the night.

You’ll hear me say that a couple of times over the course of any given weekend.  My son, Isaac, likes to help fix stuff.  He’s got himself a tool box with all sorts of interesting things.  There’s a hammer, tape measure, a couple of screwdrivers, a pair of pliers, a head to a Star Wars lego jedi, some string, a Spiderman, a nickel and a piece of gum.  I love to hear him drop everything and shout “sure Dad!” when I call for him to grab this sordid collection of items and meet me somewhere in the house.

I’m not as handy as most guys around the house, but I have my moments.  Sometimes it’s just a loose knob on a cupboard, or a nail’s come up in the wood floor.  Sometimes it’s bigger like replacing the coupler on the laundry washer motor (you can do this, too!) or fixing the shower door.  Whatever it is, for at least the first five minutes, I can count on Isaac to give me a hand.  

It’s these silly little tasks that we have to do that are great opportunities to be a dad.  Grab one of your kids and head out for the hardware store.  Teach one how to hammer in a nail.  Destroy something together like an old desk that needs to be thrown out, or that lazy boy recliner from the basement that your wife has been wanting you to eliminate.  Take a child with you to do a mundane task that maybe you don’t even like to do and watch how fast that task turns into an adventure.

One thing that I do is I have a hook on the kitchen white board that has each child’s name hanging on it.   Every time I have an opportunity to take a child with me to do something, I look at who’s up on the hook.  I take that child and put their name to the back, rotating through all my kids that way.  This increases anticipation for the kids.  They know it’s just an errand, usually, and not a trip to Disneyland, but they love knowing that they’re next to go with Daddy.  Even if you only have  a couple of children, this works good for reducing arguments.  I also recommend only taking one child at a time.  Sure, there are times that you’ll need to take all of your kids, but seek out constantly those one-on-one moments with each child so that they get opportunities to open up to you.  Ask them questions while you’re looking for drain opener in aisle 8, or spraying for bugs around the foundation.  

Not only will you tie heart strings with your child, but they’ll pick up some valuable do-it-yourself knowledge as well.  Pretty soon, they’ll be tackling big jobs with you.  Hey, maybe even restore that old ’69 GTO you’ve always wanted!

Recently, I had an experience that shook me up quite a bit.  I am a huge advocate for purity as it has been a struggle of mine.  I have Covenant Eyes installed on my office computers and home computers as well.  Covenant Eyes is software that reports all of your online activity to “Accountability Partners” that you designate.  An email report is generated at regular intervals that allows your APs to check up on your online activity.  Very detailed reports.  Well, one of my APs today sent me an alarming, yet open-minded email making me aware of some indecent searches carried out on one of my computers.

I revealed this discovery to my wife immediately and began to investigate.  Several searches were made on lewd terms on one of my computers.  It was horrifying!  I felt a suspectful eye on me immediately.  It wasn’t from my wife or my APs.  It was from God.  I know I didn’t committ those searches.  It turns out they were made by malicious spyware I am in the process of removing from my computer with a scan as we speak.  However, it really made me think.  What if there was software that reported on my thought life activity?  What if detailed reports were generated on everything I let into my brain?  I hardly think I could blame “malicious spyware” for what those reports may say.

I would like to encourage you to consider the impact your thought life and struggles have on your wife and children.  You might think that your struggles with pornography or online gambling don’t have any bearing on your kids because they “don’t know.”  But the fact is, these things that you let occupy your mind leave little room for God or your family.  Your God, your marriage relationship and your children need to have your thoughts if they are to have your heart as well.

TIPS:

Put a photo of your wife and/or kids on your computer desktop.  Get online accountability.  Never, ever, ever delete your history.  Talk about it with your wife and get some accountability partners that you can relate to in terms of this struggle.  The book “Every Man’s Battle” by Stephen Arteburn has been a great resource for me.  If you need help with sexual addiction or would like more information, a great resource is www.joedallas.com.  I pray that you seek help if you should need it.  And if you don’t think you need it, please re-examine your thought life and make sure, as we deceive ourselves first.  God bless.

Hi, my name is Jason Nabb.  My wife, Cindy and I are knee-deep in raising six kids and loving it.  It’s hard.  Let’s face it, it’s really hard sometimes.  We are constantly on the lookout for information and help regarding the best way to instill our Christian values in our children.  We’ll be posting information here on child training, health, homeschooling and more as well as plenty of personal struggles along the way.  Thank you so much for your time and we hope your time here at PurelightParenting.com is well spent.  God bless your family.