By Cindy Nabb

It is important that we invite people into our homes and into our lives.  Having someone over for dinner can be a rewarding experience and an effective tool to reach out to others, sharing our faith and our time.  Think about when you have been invited over to someone’s house that you didn’t know very well for a barbeque or for Sunday dinner.    It’s a chance to get to know someone at a level we don’t get to otherwise, to live our lives together, share our burdens with each other and offer friendship in ways we can’t do in 15 minutes on Sunday morning.  

I also believe that God is pleased when we open our homes and offer hospitality.  We are commanded to offer hospitality without complaining,  practice hospitality, entertain strangers, break bread together and bear one another’s burdens.

As a family we love to have people over.  We love the anticipation of getting the house ready, creating a meal, planning an activity and waiting for the arrival of our guests.  We try to have someone over to our house a few times a month.  We have a goal of having some one new over about once a month.  At times we don’t meet this goal as other things take priority in our weeks and months but we still try.  I encourage you to invite someone over this week to share a meal with you.  Here are some tips and ideas to help you get started.  May God bless you and your homes.

• Decide with your spouse how often you’d like to have others over.  Set a goal, choose supper or lunch.
• Kids love to plan parties so have them join in the process.
• Keep it simple.  Easy meals that all will enjoy.  Don’t worry about having a huge, elaborate meal.
• Make sure you ask your guests about any food allergies/intolerances they may have. 
• If your guests ask if they can bring something, take them up on their offer.  
• Go pot luck style.  Have the other family bring what they would have made for their family and add it to your menu.
• Use paper plates.  
• Team up with another family.  Take turns hosting.
• Meet at a park for a picnic.
• Get together for dessert.
• Have a basket of conversation starters to pass around on the table to spark conversation.  

“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”

                                                                                                                                                            Hebrews 13:2

By Jason Nabb

There’s many things I imagined myself doing.  Lawyer, professional ATV rider, furniture builder.   I’ve even thought of myself as a famous photographer, filmmaker, entrepreneur, maybe I would own a large company someday.   I never really thought much about being a father.  It never occurred to me to consider what it means, or takes, to be a father.  It doesn’t make much sense to consider the idea of being a father unless you consider your own.  It’s been about a year and a half since my father passed away.

Since then, I’ve been trying to figure out what he meant to me.   I loved him, for sure.   I miss him incredibly, but I’m not sure what he meant to me.  I look back in my memory and try to grab ahold of some semblance of comraderie, some specific time when we connected.   I remember him being there, but, for the life of me, I can’t recall many specific moments and it’s driving me crazy.

I wonder if there are other guys out there like me who try to remember moments with their dad when you just clicked.   Like the first time he talked to you about girls, or the first time he let you drive the family car.   Once in awhile, I remember little things.  I remember how loud he could whistle when I was up to bat in little league.  He would cheer so loudly, even though I was sure to strike out.  I was only in little league for one season.  He’d whistle and hoot.  I asked him to, quite honestly, because I didn’t really have a fan club and I wanted to hear cheers from the crowd when I stepped up to the plate.   I wasn’t much of an athelete and nobody really cared much when I was up to bat.  That lone season in little league was the extent of my baseball career and saw a shining first base hit as its pinnacle moment.  Too bad the next batter fouled out to end the inning.  Even though I’ve never crossed home plate, I felt pretty good about myself and I feel as though I hung up my bat and glove and retired from baseball in my prime.  In part, because my dad came to watch.

I remember how he taught me to drive.  We used to go out of town and drive on country roads on Sunday afternoons.   I used to love those drives.  I remember one time, not more than a quarter of a mile from home.  It was a blind left turn on a hill.   I was behind the wheel of his 1969 F-100.   Three on the tree and a worn out clutch.  You had to ease it up a bit to see if anyone was coming, then sort of stop, then go again if it was clear.   We must have sat at that intersection for an hour while I killed it over and over again.  I wanted to give up.   I wanted to walk home.  I wanted to do anything except make that left turn in front of me.  He was so patient.  He just kept telling me to try again.  I finally made it and when we got home I was mad for the rest of the day.

I guess that these seemingly “little” things are more important to me than I realize.  We got along well enough.   He was never too tough on my brother and I.  He always talked to us as equals.  It’s not like he was never there for me.   He was a good provider.   He worked hard.   He tried his hand at different businesses.   He studied English in college.  He ended his career working in a nuclear power plant running a machine that required an incredible amount of mathematical and technical skill.  The machine actually eliminated the radioactivity found in the water that was used to cool the fuel rods that powered the plant.   He was sort of a renaissance man, in his own way.   He was smart, but I don’t remember a passion.  I don’t remember a bright shining light in his eyes.  I know he loved my brother and I, I just don’t remember any all-consuming desire for anything, in particular.

I think a kid wants to look at his dad and see fire in his belly.   Fire for something.  The pumping fist kind of fire that makes you want to butt heads and go kill something.  I think that’s what I wanted to see.  It really wasn’t there.   However, somehow, over the years of my childhood, he inspired me.   Quietly and patiently, perhaps more so through his inaction rather than his actions, he pushed me to do more than he had done.  I love him for that, and I always will.

By Jason Nabb

You’ll hear me say that a couple of times over the course of any given weekend.  My son, Isaac, likes to help fix stuff.  He’s got himself a tool box with all sorts of interesting things.  There’s a hammer, tape measure, a couple of screwdrivers, a pair of pliers, a head to a Star Wars lego jedi, some string, a Spiderman, a nickel and a piece of gum.  I love to hear him drop everything and shout “sure Dad!” when I call for him to grab this sordid collection of items and meet me somewhere in the house.

I’m not as handy as most guys around the house, but I have my moments.  Sometimes it’s just a loose knob on a cupboard, or a nail’s come up in the wood floor.  Sometimes it’s bigger like replacing the coupler on the laundry washer motor (you can do this, too!) or fixing the shower door.  Whatever it is, for at least the first five minutes, I can count on Isaac to give me a hand.  

It’s these silly little tasks that we have to do that are great opportunities to be a dad.  Grab one of your kids and head out for the hardware store.  Teach one how to hammer in a nail.  Destroy something together like an old desk that needs to be thrown out, or that lazy boy recliner from the basement that your wife has been wanting you to eliminate.  Take a child with you to do a mundane task that maybe you don’t even like to do and watch how fast that task turns into an adventure.

One thing that I do is I have a hook on the kitchen white board that has each child’s name hanging on it.   Every time I have an opportunity to take a child with me to do something, I look at who’s up on the hook.  I take that child and put their name to the back, rotating through all my kids that way.  This increases anticipation for the kids.  They know it’s just an errand, usually, and not a trip to Disneyland, but they love knowing that they’re next to go with Daddy.  Even if you only have  a couple of children, this works good for reducing arguments.  I also recommend only taking one child at a time.  Sure, there are times that you’ll need to take all of your kids, but seek out constantly those one-on-one moments with each child so that they get opportunities to open up to you.  Ask them questions while you’re looking for drain opener in aisle 8, or spraying for bugs around the foundation.  

Not only will you tie heart strings with your child, but they’ll pick up some valuable do-it-yourself knowledge as well.  Pretty soon, they’ll be tackling big jobs with you.  Hey, maybe even restore that old ’69 GTO you’ve always wanted!

By Cindy Nabb

My mother in law recently moved to where we live.  She is a widow, her husband, my husband’s father died suddenly almost two years ago.  She has been sad as anyone would be after losing the man she spent 40+ years with.  I can’t imagine but one day it may be my reality.  One day, if we use statistics as a guide, my husband may leave this earth before me leaving me here to take care of myself and wait for my turn to be with our Maker.  I am learning how to care for someone who has spent her life taking care of others.  She spent her life wiping noses, bottoms, working, worrying, caring for and caring over her children.  It is an art to not offend and offer help when none is needed but knowing when there is a need that I can meet.  I try to think two steps ahead and anticipate what her needs may be.

The dynamic of the relationship changes as our parents age and we as adult children need to recognize that it is hard for our parents to realize this shift.  They have spent their whole lives taking care of us.  Then all the sudden, in a moment sometimes, they are the ones in need of care. There needs to be a delicate balance of friendship, authority and caretaker.  I am learning that I need to be sensitive, considerate and, above all, patient.  God is really growing me through this new relationship.  My Mother-in-law and I are now shopping buddies and I am one of the few people she has in her life to talk to on a daily basis.  I consider it my responsibility to help her with anything she may need.

My children are watching.  They are watching to see how Mom handles this new situation.  I want them to watch and I want them to see how family cares for one another.  How we treat our elders.  Knowing that they are watching keeps me in check.  It helps me to remain patient and loving and to do what I say I am going to do.  

I love her and consider it an honor to get to help her and spend time with her.  I get to glean from her life experiences and my children get to have their grandma be an integral part of their lives.

By Jason Nabb

Recently, I had an experience that shook me up quite a bit.  I am a huge advocate for purity as it has been a struggle of mine.  I have Covenant Eyes installed on my office computers and home computers as well.  Covenant Eyes is software that reports all of your online activity to “Accountability Partners” that you designate.  An email report is generated at regular intervals that allows your APs to check up on your online activity.  Very detailed reports.  Well, one of my APs today sent me an alarming, yet open-minded email making me aware of some indecent searches carried out on one of my computers.

I revealed this discovery to my wife immediately and began to investigate.  Several searches were made on lewd terms on one of my computers.  It was horrifying!  I felt a suspectful eye on me immediately.  It wasn’t from my wife or my APs.  It was from God.  I know I didn’t committ those searches.  It turns out they were made by malicious spyware I am in the process of removing from my computer with a scan as we speak.  However, it really made me think.  What if there was software that reported on my thought life activity?  What if detailed reports were generated on everything I let into my brain?  I hardly think I could blame “malicious spyware” for what those reports may say.

I would like to encourage you to consider the impact your thought life and struggles have on your wife and children.  You might think that your struggles with pornography or online gambling don’t have any bearing on your kids because they “don’t know.”  But the fact is, these things that you let occupy your mind leave little room for God or your family.  Your God, your marriage relationship and your children need to have your thoughts if they are to have your heart as well.

TIPS:

Put a photo of your wife and/or kids on your computer desktop.  Get online accountability.  Never, ever, ever delete your history.  Talk about it with your wife and get some accountability partners that you can relate to in terms of this struggle.  The book “Every Man’s Battle” by Stephen Arteburn has been a great resource for me.  If you need help with sexual addiction or would like more information, a great resource is www.joedallas.com.  I pray that you seek help if you should need it.  And if you don’t think you need it, please re-examine your thought life and make sure, as we deceive ourselves first.  God bless.

By Cindy Nabb

This is a relatively new topic for me. I was given a book (“Making Brothers and Sisters Friends” by Sarah, Stephen and Grace Mally, Tomorrow’s Forefathers, Inc.) by a dear sweet friend of mine who loves to encourage me in the raising of my children. My children and I are reading the book now and have found some interesting topics for discussion. But most of all what I have been reminded of is how God uses our families to grow us. It is no surprise to Him who is in 

our family, how they are wired, their strengths and their weaknesses. He put them there, for our benefit, for our growth. As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another. Proverbs This goes for our family as well. Not only our children but also our families of origin and our families that we come into through marriage. Paul was sent first to the Jews and then to the Gentiles. He went to minister to his people first showing us that our firs

t ministry should be to our families. 

I hope this is encouraging for you and I hope that you will join us this month as we discuss this topic. I am no expert and my children as well as myself are working on this daily. 

The greatest commandments; Jesus replied:”‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the firstand greatest commandment. And the second is like it; ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

It comes down to choice. Who will we serve and who will we love.