By Jason Nabb

I have the great opportunity to volunteer with a wonderful organization, Christian Heritage.  I am working on a new program they are implementing in the Nebraska Correctional System.  The strategy of the program is to offer an opportunity to inmates to talk for 15 minutes, on video, to their children.  Then, the videos are delivered to their families.  Inmates are encouraged to read books, discuss their days, ask the children questions, etc., in an effort to connect, or re-connect, with them.  The program is a “franchise” of the Messages Project.  The Messages Project was started by Carolyn LeCroy.  She came to Lincoln for three days to train our group on how to shoot these videos and work the program.  She has a big heart and is outspoken about the impact this program can have on the lives of the inmates and their children.  

During our first shoot at the Nebraska State Penitentiary, I was having a conversation with Carolyn, a volunteer and an inmate.  He was waiting to go in and shoot his video for his children.  Carolyn asked him what he did to get in jail…he said “B & E.”  She asked if it was drug related (as it most always is) and he said “No.  I had no choice, my family needed food and I had no job and I…”

She interrupted him, “Now wait a minute, that is criminal thinking.  You can’t think like that and expect to get paroled.  What do you think the parole board would say if you rationalized your crime like that to them?  The world doesn’t ‘owe’ you anything.  There are other ways to provide for your family other than breaking in to someone’s house and stealing.”  (This is a paraphrase.)  He kind of murmured and agreed.  It was an epiphany moment for me.  I see  a huge lesson for my kids and it wasn’t long before I could put it into action.

I’ve been having a few issues with my oldest boy.  He has been thinking like a criminal.  He’s constantly rationalizing his bad behavior.   He feels as though he is “entitled” to certain things.  So, I explained to him how that kind of thinking is what gets criminals into the habit of crime.

• “It’s not fair!”
• “They started it!”
• “I didn’t mean to hit him in the face, I just swung at him and that’s where it landed.  It’s not my fault!”
• Lying
• Cheating at games 

These, and more, are all examples of excuses you could hear in your kitchen, or from inmates at your local correctional facility.  The idea that your own actions are not the cause of the consequences you currently face is “criminal thinking.”  I tried my best to illustrate this for my kids because I think it’s a great way to show the results of a lifetime of utilizing that logic.  Right now, it’s just an argument with a sibling, or trying to get out of doing extra chores, but, before you know it, it will mean standing in front of a judge and trying to explain how “there I was, just minding my own bidness, and there were these two dudes…” (thanks, Wendy, for the great example.)

God made us to love us and made us with free will so that we would choose to love Him.  When we choose to make excuses for our behavior and choose not to accept the consequences for our actions, we are robbing ourselves of the opportunity to reconcile these actions to God.  God forgives everything.  We do, however, have to confess our sins to Him.  You can’t do that if you’re thinking you never did anything wrong in the first place.  

Talk to your kids about bad choices and “getting locked up” and things like that.  If you drive by a police bust, talk about it, have your kids consider what that person may have done.  Talk about the fact that that person has probably made a series of bad choices that led up to them getting arrested and that those bad choices may have started out small and seemingly insignificant.  That’s how Satan sneaks into our lives, through a series of small, insignificant bad choices.  Then, sooner than you think, your staring at the world through bars…or worse.

Read the local news story about Christian Heritage and the Messages Project.

Tags: choices, Relationships