By Cindy Nabb

My husband is a strong advocate for purity in our home.  He has taken steps to ensure purity in his own life and is actively teaching our children.  He has mentioned before in an earlier post that our sons know when to look away from certain billboards and certain establishments.  Well it occured to me the other day that our daughters need to have their eyes set on the prize as well.  They know that they too should turn their eyes from these same things but I don’t know if they know why.  While women do struggle with pornography, I would venture to guess that  women struggle more with being discontent.  Discontent with our spouse, our children’s behavior, our looks, our financial situation, our quality of life…well, you get the idea.

It seems almost daily we receive some sort of magazine, advertisment or catalog trying to sell us something.  My daughters have taken a liking to looking at these.  Harmless right?  As I was watching the little girls ooh and ahh over the latest dolls or the newest princess toys, it occurred to me how much discontent these items are bringing into our home and into the hearts of our children.  They were saying, “Oh Mommy isn’t this one lovely?”, “Do  you think Daddy will get me this one for   Christmas?”,  ”I don’t like this dolly (pointing to the one in her hand), I want this one! ”

Don’t we, as wives and mothers, do the same thing?  ”Her house is so much bigger, and she has it decorated so nicely, we need to do that to our house.”, “Look at the Jones’ new car!  Isn’t it beautiful?  Oh our car is fine, it’s not as pretty or as new but it’s fine.”, “Their kids are so obedient, they don’t have the same problems we do with our kids.”   “Wow, your husband took you on a trip for Valentine’s Day!”  These  statements may not sound like out and out discontent, but they are.  If we are comparing ourselves with others or comparing what we have to what others have it is the beginning of discontentedness.

I have found that if I don’t watch the home channels on TV, look through the ads in the Sunday paper or even peruse Craiglist the longing to have more or want more is lessened.  These things are like candy to my soul, they sweeten it for a time but in the end just make it rot, leaving me feeling empty and longing for more.  It isn’t feeding my soul like the water and nourishment I receive from God’s word, where I get filled up with a lasting food.

I challenge you (and myself), to fill yourselves with the real food of Jesus Christ and not with empty calories of this world.  Reading our bibles daily, more than once a day, and keeping our eyes on the prize, which is an eternity in heaven, where there’s nothing more to need, want or desire.

Please check out the article I wrote for “Breaking Free.”  It’s a blog about purity for men hosted by Covenant Eyes.  This particular article deals with how our sexual sin can affect our children and what we can do, as men, to battle with the everday bombardment of images in our world.

Covenant Eyes is great online accountability software that protects your office or home computer (and you!) from internet pornography.  If you sign up for it, click on this link and you’ll receive 30 days free!  (Or, you can use promo code “purelight” when you join.)  God bless!

By Cindy Nabb

Have you sat down today and read your child a book?  did a puzzle or colored a picture?  Told your daughter how pretty she is in her tu-tu and tights?  Told your little guy how tough he looks when he hits that tree with his stick?  Your kids need you to be there and they need you to talk to them.  When our kids are small we get so tired of all the questions, all the “Why Mommy?’s” and the “How come?’s” that we often forget to answer them.  In a few years, if you don’t take the time to answer all these seemingly small questions, the bigger questions won’t be asked of you. They won’t trust you with their big questions.  They’ll think you don’t care or don’t have time to answer or don’t know the answer.  Who do you want answering the questions about sexual purity, about how to handle the catty girl fights, how to deal with a bully, about what is happening to their body, or about who God really is.

Take time today to build trust, earn their respect.  Give them your respect.  Engage in their lives.  Make life fun.  Find their hearts and reach out to them. Take your son with you when you go to change the tire or fix the washing machine.  Let your daughter help choose your outfit for  your date with your husband.  Spending time, lots of time, with them so that you can be there when the big questions are asked.

Tying heart strings with your child is so important.  It builds trust, respect and a relationship that you both are longing for that will last a life time.

By Jason Nabb

Recently, I had an experience that shook me up quite a bit.  I am a huge advocate for purity as it has been a struggle of mine.  I have Covenant Eyes installed on my office computers and home computers as well.  Covenant Eyes is software that reports all of your online activity to “Accountability Partners” that you designate.  An email report is generated at regular intervals that allows your APs to check up on your online activity.  Very detailed reports.  Well, one of my APs today sent me an alarming, yet open-minded email making me aware of some indecent searches carried out on one of my computers.

I revealed this discovery to my wife immediately and began to investigate.  Several searches were made on lewd terms on one of my computers.  It was horrifying!  I felt a suspectful eye on me immediately.  It wasn’t from my wife or my APs.  It was from God.  I know I didn’t committ those searches.  It turns out they were made by malicious spyware I am in the process of removing from my computer with a scan as we speak.  However, it really made me think.  What if there was software that reported on my thought life activity?  What if detailed reports were generated on everything I let into my brain?  I hardly think I could blame “malicious spyware” for what those reports may say.

I would like to encourage you to consider the impact your thought life and struggles have on your wife and children.  You might think that your struggles with pornography or online gambling don’t have any bearing on your kids because they “don’t know.”  But the fact is, these things that you let occupy your mind leave little room for God or your family.  Your God, your marriage relationship and your children need to have your thoughts if they are to have your heart as well.

TIPS:

Put a photo of your wife and/or kids on your computer desktop.  Get online accountability.  Never, ever, ever delete your history.  Talk about it with your wife and get some accountability partners that you can relate to in terms of this struggle.  The book “Every Man’s Battle” by Stephen Arteburn has been a great resource for me.  If you need help with sexual addiction or would like more information, a great resource is www.joedallas.com.  I pray that you seek help if you should need it.  And if you don’t think you need it, please re-examine your thought life and make sure, as we deceive ourselves first.  God bless.